Life Is Wonderful

31 Aug 2011

vicemag: When I was in high school I got in a major pissy baby fight with my second girlfriend ever (A girl named Jeannie who now goes by Andy …eeep!) because she said that one of her celebrity crushes was Donnie Wahlberg. The guy who she had been backseat-boning before she met me looked kind of like Donnie Wahlberg, so in my teenage mind of insanity this meant that she masturbated day and night while watching NKOTB videos, but secretly thinking about her ex-bf.  I would imagine that Ryan Gosling makes a lot of jealous boyfriends/girlfriends feel this same sort of nuttery because he is, hands down, the dreamiest salt lick that any pony could ever hope for. Somewhere, right now, a young lady or young man is crying tears of frustration and asking their significant other something hilarious and vulnerable like “UGHHH, if we were on a boat with Ryan Gosling and the boat started sinking, and there was only one two-person life raft on board, would you offer it to me or Ryan Gosling?” This is a ridiculous scenario, but I still have to say that if I were presented with it, my answer would be obvious: give the raft to the loser I was dating and float to safety on top of Ryan Gosling’s peen. Read the rest at Vice Magazine: KELLY’S KRUSH KORNER - RYAN GOSLING - Viceland Today 

vicemag:

When I was in high school I got in a major pissy baby fight with my second girlfriend ever (A girl named Jeannie who now goes by Andy …eeep!) because she said that one of her celebrity crushes was Donnie Wahlberg. The guy who she had been backseat-boning before she met me looked kind of like Donnie Wahlberg, so in my teenage mind of insanity this meant that she masturbated day and night while watching NKOTB videos, but secretly thinking about her ex-bf. 

I would imagine that Ryan Gosling makes a lot of jealous boyfriends/girlfriends feel this same sort of nuttery because he is, hands down, the dreamiest salt lick that any pony could ever hope for. Somewhere, right now, a young lady or young man is crying tears of frustration and asking their significant other something hilarious and vulnerable like “UGHHH, if we were on a boat with Ryan Gosling and the boat started sinking, and there was only one two-person life raft on board, would you offer it to me or Ryan Gosling?” This is a ridiculous scenario, but I still have to say that if I were presented with it, my answer would be obvious: give the raft to the loser I was dating and float to safety on top of Ryan Gosling’s peen.

Read the rest at Vice Magazine: KELLY’S KRUSH KORNER - RYAN GOSLING - Viceland Today 

Reblogged: dandywolves

Tags: Ryan Gosling.
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